Tag: loveyourself

Mindset

Busting Body Myths: Embracing Health on Our Own Terms

Laurie Barkman

Last Friday’s blog was all about learning to love our body – exactly as it is right now. (Here is the link if you want to go back and read it.)

However, in a world that bombards women with images and standards about how we should look and act, it can be hard to shut out the messages that tell us we’re not good enough or that we need to associate our well-being as a benefit to others. These notions, often ingrained through media and societal expectations, can deeply impact our perception of ourselves and impact our wellness journey. Today, let’s look at two beliefs that have subtly shaped many women’s ideas about health and body image, and explore how they influence our journey toward self-love and wellness.

Belief #1: Our bodies must look a certain way to be acceptable

Take a look at magazine covers and headlines, especially in women’s magazines. GET A BIKINI BODY! GET YOUR SEXIEST BODY! MELT BELLY FAT!

Everywhere we turn, we’re met with images dictating an ideal look. We’re supposed to be lean, but not too lean, strong, but not too strong. We’re supposed to fight the signs of aging and maintain our youthful appearance. Heaven forbid we head to the gym or the grocery store without looking perfectly put together.

The constant exposure to such standards leads to comparisons and leaves a lot of us feeling perpetually inadequate. So we shy away from pictures, we hide behind baggy clothes and avoid the pool or the beach, we try desperately to get back into our high school jeans or get back to pre-wedding or pre-baby bodies.

Some women shy away from spaces like the gym, feeling they don’t have “gym bodies”, forgetting that while it’s totally possible to get fit and healthy without going to the gym, the gym is designed as a space to get a gym body!

We are so much more than the outer shell. We bring knowledge, insight, experience, wisdom to the world around us. What we look like does not define our value.

Belief #2: We are here to be of service to others

So many women tie their health goals to how those outcomes will benefit others. I hear this from my clients. They decide to get healthy so you can take better care of their children, their family, their community, etc. I’m not saying that is wrong, but what is wrong with choosing to get healthy because you deserve to feel strong, healthy and energetic!?

When we believe that we are put on this earth for the sole purpose of taking care of others, we stop going to the gym or to yoga or for a walk or to spend time with friends because we feel guilty for time away from those commitments. We worry that the relationships we have with others will be affected when we put our own self-care into our agenda.

So yes, you have responsiblity towards others but you are also responsible for your own health and well-being. Taking care of yourself is not less important than taking care of others. How you do that may change dependent on the stage of life you are at, but making time to take care of yourself for no other reason than you are an amazing human being who is worth the time and attention, is a good thing!

I encourage you to challenge these beliefs and others that are holding you back. Embrace your unique strength, ditch unrealistic standards and reclaim your body and your health – on your terms – for you.

Your worth doesn’t depend on fitting into external ideals; it’s about feeling strong, healthy, and exceptional, just for yourself!

Hey there! As a Women’s Wellness Coach, my goal is to help women create a healthy, lifestyle that works for them – on their terms, with their personal goals in mind, one step, one habit at a time! The first step is a free 30 minute Wellness Breakthrough Session. If you’re ready to learn more, book your time here!

Mindset

Rediscovering Love for Your Body

Laurie Barkman

Have you ever skipped out going to a class reunion or suffered in long pants and long sleeved shirts in the middle of summer because you felt self-conscious about your body? If you’ve ever felt that way, you are not alone. According to a 2016 Dove Global Beauty & Confidence report, a staggering 85% of women have skipped life events because they believed they don’t look good enough. How incredibly sad that so many of us miss out on fully living our lives.

As many of you know, I made the decision to get healthy in early 2018. What some of you won’t know, is that as I lost weight and built muscle, I decided to enter a bikini competition. Not the best decision for someone who is really good at playing the comparison game.

I competed in May 2019 and placed in the top 5. That’s something I should have been pretty proud of right? But do you know what I saw when I looked at the pictures? Instead of seeing progress, I saw that my butt had too much fat as compared to others in the field. I saw stretch marks on my tummy and cellulite on my legs. I didn’t see the strong back, lean waist, shapely shoulders and calves.

It was at that point that I realized that getting healthy, being truly well, was about so much more than physical health. It was also about loving the body we are in – which was a good thing, because that super lean body is no more, but that is a story for another day!

The sad reality is that, until we learn to love our body and to appreciate all that it does for us, we’ll never be thin enough or strong enough. There will always be someone we compare ourselves unfavorably too. There will always be another unrealistic expectation that we buy into and try to achieve. Being truly well means loving our bodies, regardless of shape and size, and sometimes that is the most challenging part of the wellness journey.

When you choose to love your body – and I hope that is what you choose to do – it doesn’t mean all those moments of feeling “less than” will automatically go away. They won’t. Many of us have practiced negativity and comparison for years and it takes time, patience, curiosity and a willingness to challenge and to change that narrative.

As you travel that path, grant yourself grace and understanding. When negative thoughts pop into your mind, take a moment to reflect on the parts of yourself you genuinely love, acknowledging your body’s strength, adaptability, and endurance.

Remember, learning to love your body is a journey. It’s okay not to be there yet, but the crucial step is to choose love. Celebrate the unique things your body does for you each day, be it the way it heals, moves, or simply carries you through life. By appreciating what your body can do, you pave the way to a deeper sense of self-love and acceptance.

I’m holding a free virtual masterclass on Tuesday, November 7th called “Beyond Diets: A Holistic Approach to Weight Loss”, which includes information on the importance of self-love. If you’re interested in learning more, register here .