Category: Wednesday Wisdom

Wednesday Wisdom

Perfection is highly over-rated

Laurie Barkman

I do not have a perfect Christmas tree. My decorations aren’t colour coordinated. There is no theme – unless you can call a hodge-podge of homemade decorations a theme.

I must admit – every once in a while I look at the perfectly curated trees others share on social and think that maybe this is the year I should get a “grown up” tree. But then, I start pulling out the decorations my kids made when they were little, or the ones from the big bag of decorations my sister got me one year – and I think – not this year.

As we dive into the holiday season, it’s all too common to find ourselves caught in the trap of comparison and self-judgement. We scroll through social media, we get sucked into yet another Hallmark movie, and suddenly our own celebrations pale in comparison.

Our family doesn’t look as happy. There are people missing from around the table. The turkey is dry. The gravy has lumps. There are food allergies and preferences that means adapting favourite recipes or preparing something new and different.

But here’s the thing – our joy in this season doesn’t have to be dictated by – or look like – the carefully curated snapshots we see online or by nostalgic memories of holidays past. The magic of the season lies in embracing the imperfect, finding joy in the small moments, and letting go of the need for perfection.

1. Embrace the Beautiful Chaos

Let’s face it, holidays are messy. There might be a stray ribbon on the floor, the cookies might not look like the ones on Instagram, and the family photo might include a few goofy expressions. And you know what? That’s perfectly okay. In fact, it’s beautiful. Embrace the chaos, and you’ll find joy in the authenticity of the moment.

2. Rewrite Your Holiday Narrative

Instead of comparing this year’s celebrations to some idealized version from the past, focus on creating new, meaningful traditions. Whether it’s a quirky family game, a spontaneous dance party, or a cozy movie night, the joy of the holidays is in the experiences you share, not the perfection of the setting.

3. Release the Pressure

Give yourself the gift of letting go. Release the pressure to meet unrealistic expectations, whether they come from society, family, or your own inner critic. When you let go of judgment, you create space for genuine joy to enter.

The holidays are opportunities to create connection, gratitude, and love. When we choose joy over judgment, you’ll find that the true magic of the season lies in the beautifully imperfect moments you share with your loved ones.

Are there any “imperfect” traditions or memories of “imperfect” holiday events that bring you joy and that you wouldn’t change – even if you had the chance to make them “perfect”? If so, I’d love to hear about them!

Wednesday Wisdom, Wellness Wednesday

6 Tips to Navigate Social Pressures During the Holidays

Laurie Barkman

The holiday season often comes with a side of societal expectations and judgments. From family gatherings to office parties, it’s not uncommon to feel the weight of others’ perceptions and expectations. But what if we could shift our focus from judgment to joy? Here’s how to navigate social pressures and embrace the holidays authentically:

1. Define Your Joy

Reflect on what brings you joy during the holidays. Is it spending quality time with loved ones, enjoying festive decorations, or savoring special treats? Knowing what truly brings you joy provides a foundation for you to say “yes” or “no” to certain events or situations.

2. Set Boundaries

Recognize that it’s okay to set boundaries, whether it’s about the number of social events you attend or the types of conversations you engage in. Communicate your boundaries assertively and kindly.

3. Release Perfectionism

Let go of the pursuit of perfection. Understand that the holidays don’t have to be flawless, and neither do you, or any of the events you attend or host. Embrace the beauty of imperfection and savor the real, messy, and wonderful moments. Those are the ones that very often make the best stories and memories!

4. Focus on Connection

Shift the focus from appearances to connections. Engage in meaningful conversations, share stories, and celebrate the connections that make the holidays special.

5. Embrace Your Authentic Self

Remember that your worth isn’t determined by others’ opinions. Embrace your authentic self, unapologetically. Whether it’s your unique style, your unconventional traditions, or your genuine laughter, let your true self shine.

6. Practice Self-Compassion

Be kind to yourself. If you feel the weight of judgment, practice self-compassion. Recognize that everyone is navigating their own challenges, and you’re deserving of love and understanding, especially from yourself.

By choosing joy over judgment, you can create a holiday season that aligns with your values and brings genuine happiness. Embrace authenticity, set boundaries, and savor the connections that truly matter.

Ready to shed the weight of holiday stress and redefine how you approach the holiday season? Join me on December 5th for a special holiday edition of Beyond Diets where we’ll explore how to navigate the holidays with joy, balance, and self-love. Discover practical strategies to nourish your body, mind, and spirit during this festive time. Learn more and register here.

Wednesday Wisdom, Wellness Wednesday

Healthy Habits Need Healthy Environments

Laurie Barkman

The key to building a long-term, sustainable healthy and vibrant life is by taking small, daily steps towards healthier habits.

Perhaps you’ve already figured out that small steps lead to big progress; that you don’t have to try and change everything at once, but you’re still having trouble sticking to your small steps.

The answer may lie in your environment. It’s difficult to change your snacking habits if your fridge and cupboard are still filled with all the snacks you are trying to replace. The chances of you actually using the treadmill are way lower if it is still being used as a clothes rack.

In the journey toward a healthier lifestyle, your environment plays a pivotal role. Consider your living space as the canvas on which you’ll paint the picture of your wellness. Just as an artist arranges colors and shapes deliberately, you can arrange your surroundings to make healthy habits effortless – or at least easier!

Start with the heart of your home—the kitchen. Conduct a pantry and fridge audit, ridding them of processed, tempting items and replacing them with healthier choices. If getting rid of them isn’t an option (not everyone in your household may be on the same journey as you!) move them out of reach or behind the healthier options. My hubby knows to put the potato chips up on the top shelf that I can’t reach without a lot of effort! This simple act makes it easier to choose nutritious options more often.

Extend this transformation to other areas. Create a designated workout space—whether it’s a corner with a yoga mat or a home gym. Arrange it thoughtfully to encourage regular movement. Even your bedroom can support your wellness journey. Optimize your sleep environment by keeping it cool, dark, and free of electronic devices.

Beyond physical spaces, consider your digital environment. Curate your social media feeds to inspire, motivate, and educate. Unfollow accounts that promote unhealthy habits and fill your online world with positive influences.

By consciously shaping your environment, you set the stage for habit change.

Join the no-obligation, pre-sale waitlist for the “Be Your Best Self” 12-week program! In this program, we dive deep into habits, mindsets, beliefs and practical strategies to help you create your personal wellness roadmap so you can live the healthy, vibrant life you want – now and in the future! Learn more here!

Mindset, Wednesday Wisdom, Wellness Wednesday

Choosing Wellness from a Place of Fear or of Hope

Laurie Barkman

In the pursuit of a healthy lifestyle, our motivations often reside in either avoidance or approach strategies, symbolizing the dichotomy between fear-based and hope-driven mindsets. The avoidance strategy prompts us to steer clear of behaviors deemed detrimental to our health, while the approach strategy encourages actively choosing behaviors that foster positive outcomes.

The Fear-Driven Avoidance Strategy:

Fear often serves as the catalyst that propels us into action. In our pursuit of well-being, the avoidance strategy steers us away from habits or choices deemed detrimental to our health. This fear-based motivation may spark changes in lifestyle, prompted by a desire to evade the negative consequences of unhealthy behaviors. For instance, it could be the fear of illness or a diminished quality of life that prompts the decision to step onto the path of wellness.

The Hope-Fueled Approach Strategy:

On the other hand, the approach strategy is driven by hope and positivity. It involves actively choosing behaviors that contribute to a healthier, more fulfilling life. Instead of merely avoiding negative habits, the approach strategy focuses on embracing positive actions that lead to wellness. It’s about making conscious choices that bring vitality and a sense of well-being. While fear might get us started, it is usually hope that keeps us engaged and committed to the journey of wellness.

Finding Balance:

Both avoidance and approach strategies can play crucial roles in our health journey. While fear might serve as the initial impetus, it’s important to transition from avoidance-based motives to approach-driven behaviors. The key lies in channeling the initial fear into positive actions and cultivating a mindset centered on embracing health-affirming choices.

The Balance in Wellness:

In navigating your wellness journey, understand that fear and hope are not exclusive. Both have their place. While fear might be the catalyst, it’s hope that lights the way forward. It’s about a balance between acknowledging the need for change due to potential negative outcomes and actively choosing a path focused on the positive benefits of a healthier lifestyle.

Hey there! As a Women’s Wellness Coach, my goal is to help women create a healthy, lifestyle that works for them – on their terms, with their personal goals in mind, one step, one habit at a time! The first step is a free 30 minute Wellness Breakthrough Session. If you’re ready to learn more, book your time here!